Bagong salta sa America, yung Pinoy ay gustong mag-long distance sa Pilipinas kaya dinayal yung "0 for Operator".
Operator: AT&T. How may I help you?
Pinoy: Heyloow. Ay wud like to long distans da Pilipins, plis.
Operator: Name of the party you're calling?
Pinoy: Aybegyurpardon? Can you repit agen plis?
Operator: What is the name of the person you are calling?
Pinoy: Ah, yes, tenkyu and sori. Da name of my calling is Elpidio Abanquel. Sori and tenkyu.
Operator: Please spell out the name of the person you're calling phonetically.
Pinoy: Yes, tenkyu. What is foneticali?
Operator: Please spell out the letters comprising the name a letter at a time and citing a word for each letter.
Pinoy: Ah, yes, tenkyu. Da name of Elpidio Abanquel is Elpidio Abanquel. I will spell his name foneticali. Elpidio: E as in Elpidio, L as in lpidio, p as in pidio, i as in idio, d as in dio, i as in io and o as in o.
Operator: Sir, can you please use English words.
Pinoy: Ah, yes, tenkyu. Abanquel: A as in Airport, B as in Because, A as in Airport agen, N as in... Enemy, Q as in... Cuba, U as in... Europe, E as in... Important and L as in... Elephant.
;D ;D ;D
Nag-o-order ng breakfast yung bagong saltang Pinoy sa isang coffee shop sa Manhattan...
Waiter: "What kind of coffee would you like, regular or decaf?"
Pinoy: "No... Big cup! Big cup!"
Waiter: "What would you like for your breakfast?"
Pinoy: "Hameneggs."
Waiter: "And how do you like your eggs, sir?"
Pinoy: "Yes, tenkyu, I like dem beri much."
Waiter: "No sir, I mean how would you like them cooked?"
Pinoy: "Yes, tenkyu, I wud like dem cooked."
Waiter (with increasing impatience): "Would you like your eggs... fried? poached? hard boiled or soft boiled?"
Pinoy (with increasing uneasiness): "Yes, one fried en one hard boiled or sop boiled."
Waiter: "And what bread would you like?"
Pinoy: "Begyurpardon?"
Waiter: "What kind of bread would you like... white? rye? whole wheat? toast?"
Pinoy: "Pan Amercano..."
Waiter: "We don't have that..."
Pinoy: "Okey. Gib me Taystee..."
Waiter: "We don't have that either, sir..."
Pinoy: "Do you heb pan de lemon or bonete?"
Waiter: "Sir, you are wasting my time... I shall ask for the last time, what would you like for breakfast?"
Pinoy: "Donut plis..."
Kinabukasan, bumalik yung Pinoy sa restaurant at umupo sa isang table na kalapit ang isa ring customer na Pinoy rin, kaya lang, e, oldtimer na.
Pinoy: (thinking to himself) Alam ko na! Gagayahin ko na lang ang order niya.
Dumating na yung kani-kanilang waiter...
Waiter: Sir, what would you like to order?
Customer: Ham and Eggs, please!"
Pinoy: (speaking to his own waiter) Ham en eeggs, plis!
Waiter: How would you like your eggs, sir?
Customer: Over-easy.
Pinoy: Uber-eesee!
(Napatingin sapagkat nakahalata na yung customer na oldtimer)
Waiter: Anything else, sir?
Customer: Some pancakes, too.
Pinoy: Sam pangkiks, tu!
(Napatingin ulit yung customer)
Waiter: Anything to drink?
Customer: A large orange juice.
Pinoy: E lards urinds dsus!
(napipikon na yung customer)
Waiter: Is there anything else I can bring you?
Customer: Can you get me a hot towel?
Pinoy: Witir! Hat tawil!
Customer: (really peeved) Ano ka ba! niloloko mo ba ako? Bakit mo ginagaya ang lahat ng order ko?
Pinoy: Bakit? Ikaw lang ba ang kumakain ng hot towel?
;D